I love the holidays! And this is in large part because I’m a firm believer that holiday celebrations are most satisfying when we reevaluate them from time to time, to make sure they reflect our present-day values and desires.
I first learned this as a very little girl – maybe 6 or 7 at the most – when my Italian grandfather stood up from the dinner table one Christmas Eve and asked, “Why are we eating turkey? We’re Italian!
My grandfather, who was born in Italy, then went on to tell us about his fondest holiday memories. He described the anticipation of watching his mother, grandmother, and sister busy in the kitchen, telling stories and laughing as they prepared homemade ravioli and marinara sauce, then gathering together as a family on Christmas day to savor the nourishing meal.
My Grandfather was right. I come from an Italian family that values homemade pasta paired with a good marinara much more than a traditional turkey dinner! Yet, because we were Americanized, we had adopted the custom of making turkey with all the trimmings for holiday meals, even though it wasn’t nearly as satisfying. The following year, when my sister and I found ourselves seated on kitchen stools watching our mother and grandfather make ravioli and sauce from scratch while hearing my grandmother’s tales from “the good old days”, something inside me felt like I had come home.
As an adult, I take pleasure in carrying on this tradition with my husband Frederic, and our two boys, Alex and Maxim. And because my parents live close by, they’re also able to participate with us. It’s awesome to see my mother, now in her late 80s, come fully alive during the Christmas season – in large part because helping out with the holiday meal provides her a perfect opportunity to share treasured memories with all of us, and to keep them alive for generations to come.
In addition to serving a full-blown Italian feast instead of turkey and stuffing, my family also incorporates the ritual of beginning our meal by everyone around the table expressing something they are thankful for. This is a practice most people usually reserve for Thanksgiving, but I am someone who understands the power of gratitude and appreciation. What we appreciate literally appreciates in our lives. So I have always incorporated the ritual of going around the table to count our blessings, so to speak, because in the spirit of appreciating all that we already have, we become receptive to even more joy and abundance.
I think it’s worthwhile to point out that our holiday traditions are not at all dependent on any external factors, and this is by deliberate design. They don’t involve lavish vacations or any elaborate plans. Rather, they are simple things that we can enjoy in the comfort of our own home. And as a result, our holiday plans have not changed, either before, during, or after Covid. In the spirit of being grateful for all that we have – our health and well-being are at the top of that list – we have simply gone about the business of creating meaningful holiday celebrations. I understand that any energy directed toward panic or fear is an act of miscreation, so I focus instead on the factors that I can control, knowing that from an energetic standpoint, being in a state of harmony and coherence is a direct way that I can contribute to peace in the world.
I have taken to heart the message my grandfather shared with us all those years ago. It’s important to resist adopting traditions that have no real significance just because it’s what “most people” do. Too often, we adopt and then recycle family traditions year after year without ever bringing them into the light to consider what really serves us, comforts us, and makes our hearts sing. If this rings true for anyone reading this piece, I offer the following simple process:
- As you reflect on your usual holiday traditions, acknowledge the aspects of them that don’t currently bring you joy.
- Allow the contrast of what is no longer working for you to give rise to a new level of clarity about what you now desire to create.
- Ask yourself why you desire to create this. In the case of my grandfather, he desired to return to our Italian roots, both because he wanted to honor our heritage and because he strongly preferred pasta over turkey! What is your why?
- Finally, allow yourself to imagine how you will feel once you have integrated this new ritual or tradition into your holiday celebrations. Will you feel more relaxed? More at peace? More satisfied? Allow yourself to feel these feelings now, ahead of the celebration. The emotions you project into the world are powerfully magnetic and draw to you experiences that resonate in harmony with that frequency.
In the same way, we pare down our wardrobes from last year’s styles, our holiday traditions deserve to be revisited to make sure they reflect what’s really important to us. And just because something is one person’s tradition, doesn’t mean you need to carry that torch. Your desires are constantly evolving, and your job is to keep up with your evolving desires. As a creator of your life experience, you have the right to create – and recreate – traditions that honor the type of energy you want to cultivate within your home and family.
Wishing you the happiest of holidays!
Christy