What I have learned over the last 10 years after struggling with one perimenopause symptom after another is that life can be what I make of it. I know I can hear you right now, what are you talking about? The concept by itself seems so simple and yet most women won’t even try. For example, if you think you have a hard life then you do. If you look for the good in your life, then you will. If you think that you suffer from so many symptoms and you stay focused on them, then you will stay in that mindset. Tony Robbins has a profound quote “where focus goes, energy flows”.
As a midlife woman, I totally understand the physical and emotional challenges that we face. I have personally experienced over ten symptoms myself. At my lowest point, I found myself on all fours doing a yoga pose. Eyes flowing with tears that were streaming down my face, and I could not find the shut-off valve. Just thinking back to that moment in time my eyes still fill up with tears. Not knowing what was happening to me felt scary. Why was this feeling of giving up filling my mind? Why did I feel so hopeless and sad? By all accounts I have a bubbly personality. I have been called Pollyanna by many. My glass is always half filled and never empty. But in this moment of despair like I have never felt before I just felt empty.
This moment will never leave my mind. As I tried to come up for air, I felt like I was drowning in despair. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. My face was drawn with sadness and grief like I had lost a close family member. This was not me. How was I going to get out of this? What could I do? At the time my Gyno Dr. was not seeing patients as he was changing offices. He subsequently closed shop. My personal Dr. had retired. It was at the height of CoVid. My coworker had been admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She was one year older than me and sent home to die.
That was my way out of the funk that I was in. As I cried on my yoga mat it occurred to me what if I was the one laying in a bed dying. Knowing that the end of my life was within just a few weeks how would I live? What would my coworker give to change her life for my life? As these random thoughts came flooding thru my mind, I knew in that moment that I had the power locked inside of me to change my situation.
With the right mindset my life could and would be different. I realized like Dorothy that the power was inside me all the time. And with that knowledge and power a new positive approach to my midlife transition was born.
Menopause can be a time of self-discovery and personal growth. We begin to reflect on our lives, values, and priorities. Often, we realize that we have neglected ourselves and have put others happiness in front of our own. Increasing our self-awareness is the beginning of our journey.
What I found is that my inner strength and resiliency was there the whole time. Knowing that my confidence in myself increased which gave me power. This confidence extended beyond menopause and positively impacted various aspects of my life.
I decided in 2022 that I would live without fear. I am a runner with over 20 years of experience. I needed to trust in my abilities. This made me go back and revisit some runs that I had issues with. February 2022 it was time to run a trail run. I had a bad experience on a trail run in December 2004 where a volunteer had to find me in the woods. I’m not even sure how long I was lost. I remember someone saying it was a 5K not a 5 miler. It was time to sign up and try again. I crushed the run, and my time was better than could be expected. In August I said yes to doing my first full marathon. At the time I had completed 84 half marathons but never thought I could do a full one. Saying yes to doing the NYC marathon one of only 6 major marathons in the world. The largest in the world was pivotal in my confidence journey. Mission accomplished in November 2022. Now it was time to say yes to a ten-mile race that in 2012 I was taken from the finish line in an ambulance. The morning of my stomach was upset, and I was having trouble getting out of the bathroom. One problem the run was an hour and a half travel time. I started to let myself off the hook and not go. No, that was not going to happen. I looked myself in the mirror and told myself to get it together. I was going alone to conquer the most frightening race. Not only did I do it, but I came in first in my age group. Wow, I could breathe a sigh of relief. I felt so proud of myself. I am so glad that I made myself get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
By embracing changes in our lives and leaning into them we can find opportunities for growth. We evolve our whole life as our needs and desires change. Exploring new hobbies, interests, and career paths as we evolve. It is imperative that we take the time to reflect on our lives, hopes and dreams.
It’s now been 4 years since I went thru the full transition into post menopause. What I realized after I figured out how to help myself is that I have a lot to offer other women. We all have different symptoms and yet we are the same. My coaching business is designed specifically for everyone. Each individual woman is different therefore my one-on-one weekly coaching calls are tailored and unique. What I give to each woman is what I wish had been provided for me. My journey thru this transition has made me empathetic and sincerely invested in helping women ease through menopause naturally.
Every woman’s experience with menopause is unique to them. It is essential to seek support from a support group, healthcare professional or therapist to navigate this phase with positivity and grace.
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