How many times have you ever said, ‘this year, I will….?’ Yet, that thing you talk about all the time and say you want so badly either never happens, or that initial excitement leads to a false start.
We make these promises to ourselves because there is a voice within us, a knowing, that this thing must happen, go away, or change for our overall betterment.
It’s not that we don’t want whatever it is that we promised, wished, or prayed for, but for some reason, it keeps eluding us and we are back in the loop of just falling short.
Even me writing down these words took me a multitude of attempts to get to putting pen to paper. I have the vision, the ideas, and maybe even the outline in my mind. I continuously ask myself why it takes so long to really start? The symphony of voices in my mind say, ‘no one cares what you have to say, or you’re not good enough or smart enough to do this.’
The negative self-talk plays on repeat until it becomes so deafening that the only way to stop it is to act. Now, the symphony sounds like hope, magic, and possibilities because I did what I thought I couldn’t. I followed through and the result was accomplishment and pride.
Why do we deny ourselves what we so greatly desire? Too often, when we are wanting, and trying to change and upgrade a part of ourselves, be it physically, spiritually, or materially, our ego immediately jumps in to stop us because our egos are based in fear and any level of change is a threat to our primal sense of stability and comfort. Typically, this can be where we get in our own way and stop pursuing our goals.
How can we move past this point? Awareness! Out of the gate, we are critical of ourselves because starting is usually the biggest challenge. Knowing and understanding that this just the beginning and we don’t have to be perfect, we allow ourselves some grace to stumble or meander on our journey of reinvention.
I believe that when we are at the edge of the cliff of whatever we are desiring, we either bail out on ourselves, or we make that decision to end the cycle of not showing up for ourselves and finally take that leap of faith to level up. Such a dramatic shift will be met with some resistance and possibly self-sabotage.
When you make that choice to become different and better for yourself, refer to the following 5 stages of transformation as your guideline.
~ We self-sabotage by being in denial. We tell ourselves we really don’t want or need what we are pursuing.
Remember and acknowledge your ‘why.’ Is this for your version of physical or financial health, success, or inner peace? Let that motivate you to remain consistent and diligent in your endeavors.
~ There will be times when the task at hand becomes overwhelming and it will feel more like a burden than a passion. We may become angry or resentful.
This is when we see that silver lining of hope in all the possibilities once we reach our personal finish line.
~ Occasionally, we experience a complete feeling of accomplishment and stop working because we begin to see the fruits of our labor bargain with ourselves and say, ‘I’ve gone far enough; I don’t have to give this anymore effort.’
Don’t be fooled by this false finish. We must maintain our discipline and be unwavering until we cross our finish line.
~ A handful of motivational and inspirational cliches cross my mind, ‘no pain, no gain’, ‘no-one said it would be easy’, and ‘this too shall pass.’ We are approaching the final lap. Our legs are feeling weak, our vision may be a little blurred, and we get down on ourselves, w have moments of despondency.
At this stage, and mindset, we pause, breath, and be easy on ourselves because we are in the eye of the storm of our metamorphosis. Remember, diamonds are formed under pressure.
~ A wave of relief and acceptance washes over you once you have reached the point of being that person you set out to be and you have this abundance of fulfillment that works to sustain this new version of you.
Setting goals doesn’t just have to happen at the start of a new year, or on Monday or some other distant time. The moment you have that drop of inspiration is the start. No one else needs to be in on what you see or want; this is your goal…your dream. Allow yourself the opportunity to explore and go after what you want, but also to stumble along the way.
~ Nicky Hassaballa
Below are ways you can connect with Nicky:
Email: nickyhassaballa@gmail.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-hassaballa
Instagram: @nickyhass14
Facebook: Nicky Hassaballa
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/nicky-hass