Motherhood Didn’t Come When She Expected. Here’s What the Wait Taught Her

Rene Byrd: Waiting on the Lord, Becoming a Mother, and Never Giving Up

For the Stellar Woman Mother’s Day Edition

Rene is a British singer, songwriter, award-winning creative visionary, founder and host of the Who Am I Talk podcast, and founder of Rene Byrd London, a luxury lifestyle brand rooted in identity, confidence, and empowerment.

One of her most powerful journeys has been becoming a mother after IVF. After years of waiting, hoping, praying, preparing, and surrendering, she welcomed her son in November 2024. Her story is one of faith, resilience, womanhood, delayed dreams, and divine timing.

“Wait on the Lord. I understand those words now more than ever.”

Rene, welcome back to Stellar Woman. Can you tell us more about your journey?

Thank you so much for having me again. It is such a pleasure.

My creativity has always been rooted in music. Singing is my first love. In 2019, when I released my single, I had to pivot because it was just before COVID. I needed to find a new way of connecting with my audience, and I did not want it to be only about me.

So, with my brother Tez Lee, we created what began as a live conversation platform. I interviewed people from the industry, as well as nutritionists, fitness instructors, hair stylists, and others who could support people through that season.

I did not know that years later, after 62 episodes, I would be nominated for awards and win an innovation award. I was simply having conversations and sharing people’s stories.

Then, I found myself being interviewed about my own story. In 2024, my husband and I did something remarkable. We welcomed our little boy. It was the most beautiful thing.

I did not know if I would ever have children. I was in my late thirties and early forties, focused on my career. But I remember my grandmother, a woman of Christ, saying to me: “Wait on the Lord.”

At the time, I did not fully understand it. Now I do.

“Anything you desire, anything you are hoping for, you have to wait on Him. It is not always your timing. It is His.”

What did “wait on the Lord” come to mean to you?

A lot of the time, we work hard, we make plans, we set goals, and we believe life will happen by a certain time. I wish life worked exactly like that, but often it does not.

I am a strong believer that faith without works is dead. You must do the work. But you also have to understand that there is a plan bigger than you.

For women who are waiting for a husband, waiting for a child, going through IVF, or dealing with fertility challenges, I would never want to sound condescending because everyone has their own journey. But I would say this: if something is truly in your heart, have faith and persevere.

For me, I had also surrendered to the possibility that if my child was not biologically mine, I would adopt. A child still needs a mother. Motherhood is still motherhood.

I surrendered to whatever the path would be, and God chose this path for me. I am deeply grateful.

You used the word surrender. What does surrender mean to you?

Surrender means finding peace, even when you do not know what will happen.

Before I met my husband, I had to find myself again. I needed to fall back in love with myself. I went on an Ayurvedic retreat in Madeira, Portugal, for seven days. There was prayer, meditation, cleansing, and realignment of my spirit.

There was no television, no noise, no distractions. I detoxed emotionally and spiritually. I came back with a different energy.

Not long after that, I met the man who is now my husband.

Love finds you when you are centred. You do not have to chase it. As a woman, I believe you should be found, valued, and wanted.

“Before you find love, you have to be peaceful and in love with yourself.”

What would you say to women who are still waiting?

I would say: be at peace with yourself.

In our communities, especially as women of colour, people can be very tactless. They ask, “Not married yet?” “No babies yet?” They do not always understand how painful those questions can be.

You may already be dealing with pressure internally, and then you have to face external comments too. That does not help.

But your journey is your contract. When it happens, it happens. If it does not happen in the way you expected, there is still a path for you.

I would also say: do not be afraid to understand your reproductive system. We do not talk about that enough in our communities. We spend money on hair, nails, bags, teeth, and skin, but we do not always invest in understanding our bodies.

Get the checks done. Understand your hormones. Understand if there are underlying conditions. And if you are younger and motherhood is something you may want in the future, consider freezing your eggs. It is not something we talk about enough, but it could give you more options later.

How has your definition of womanhood changed through this journey?

Womanhood is a becoming.

When I was younger, I was learning, experimenting, and thinking I knew everything. Now, as a mother, I am still becoming. Motherhood has added another layer to who I am.

The ambition is still there, but motherhood comes first. My son comes first. Even something simple like leaving the house has changed. Before, my handbag had lipstick, perfume, and personal things. Now it has water, snacks, toys, and teething rings.

That is motherhood. You become less selfish because your child comes first. You pre-plan. You carry many hats. You become more prepared.

What was one of the most challenging parts of IVF?

The waiting.

There are so many layers to IVF, and I did not fully understand them before I started. I also did not research too much because sometimes you can overthink.

The scariest moment was waiting to know whether it had worked. That is when my faith really carried me. I was constantly in prayer.

I am also a big believer in vision boards. Before IVF, I had a picture on my vision board of a little boy in a cot, with a pair of heels, a trainer, and a little baby trainer. My hairdresser reminded me of it later.

I had visualised my son before he came.

“If you do not believe it, how can your body believe it? How can your actions believe it? How can the world believe it?”

How did you hold on to hope during uncertainty?

Music helped me. I listened to gospel constantly. That is what I fed my spirit with.

I also surrounded myself with the right people. Positive energy becomes stronger when you are around positive people.

But the anxiety did not completely disappear. Even during pregnancy, every scan brought some apprehension. I think many women who have gone through that journey understand that feeling.

The moment I held my son and heard him cry, that was when I knew he was okay.

Now, I pray over him every day, from head to toe. Prayer is my tool. Even with small things, I speak to God. I ask, “What do You think? Should I do this? Should I not?”

That is how I live.

What do you wish more women knew about the emotional reality of IVF?

Do not go into it lightly.

It takes discipline, preparation, understanding, and emotional strength. For me, there were about three years of preparation before I went through IVF. I cleansed my body, removed alcohol, took supplements, lost weight, ate better, slept better, and tried to give my body the best possible chance.

I also believe counselling can be helpful. My counselling was God, but I do recommend that women and couples talk things through. IVF affects both partners. The woman may go through the physical process, but the partner is also part of the emotional journey.

You also need to understand both bodies, not just the woman’s. Sometimes men do not want to have that conversation, but it matters.

We need more transparency, even when it is uncomfortable.

What was it like when you first held your son?

That is the moment that still makes me emotional.

It was the most beautiful ending to the waiting. I look at him every day and I am so grateful.

Every child is a miracle, but when you have gone through that kind of journey, there is something incredibly powerful about finally holding the child you prayed for.

“It all made sense. My life made sense in a deeper way.”

How has motherhood changed your sense of timing and destiny?

It has slowed me down in the best way.

I still have ambition. I still have so much I want to do. But now I think more strategically. If I do something, it has to make sense. It has to impact my family positively.

Before, I might have gone to events or taken opportunities more freely. Now I ask: Does this align? Does this matter? Does it serve my purpose and my family?

Motherhood has changed the timing of things and the importance of things.

What has surprised you most about motherhood?

The emotional side.

People tell you about nursery bugs, teething, walking, nappies, and routines. But I did not realise how much I would think about the future. I wonder if I am prepared enough for him. I think about his legacy and his foundation.

Because I am an older mother, I am also aware that I need to be well and strong for him.

Motherhood has made me more organised, more structured, and more intentional.

How has motherhood reshaped your identity?

It has made me more assured.

I have always been quite fearless. I can speak to anyone, go anywhere, and I try to live with positivity. But motherhood has given me more empathy.

Before I became a mother, I did not fully understand mothers. Now, when I see a child having a meltdown, I understand. I have more patience and more compassion.

It has also made me feel more powerful.

“I had a crown before, but now it feels firmly fitted on my head.”

Women are incredible. I did not understand the depth of that before, but now I do. I salute women, especially mothers with more than one child and mothers doing it alone. It is a lot, and yet they still show up.

How do you balance being a creative visionary, founder, wife, and mother?

Organisation.

I have to prioritise. I have to make sure that what I do makes sense. I do not just go to events or say yes to things without purpose.

Now, everything needs grounding. Everything needs purpose.

What does “it is not too late” mean to you now?

It means you work on your own contract.

We often believe we should have achieved certain things by a certain age. But you do what you can, when you can, and you must be okay with that.

You are not running out of time for your dreams. Things happen when they are supposed to happen.

Why is community so important, especially for women on fertility and motherhood journeys?

Because when women share, they realise they are not alone.

Many women think their experience is unique, and then they discover someone else is going through something similar. That brings comfort, strength, and hope.

That is why spaces like The Village matter. It takes a village for motherhood, but also for every becoming.

What conversations do we still need to normalise?

We need to talk about fertility, reproductive health, egg freezing, fibroids, IVF, motherhood later in life, and the emotional reality of waiting.

We need to stop suffering in silence.

When we open up, we ease the burden for many others.

What does Mother’s Day mean to you now?

Before, I would buy cards and flowers for my mother. Now, I receive them too.

It is a beautiful feeling to be part of the experience. I received a card with my son’s little scribble, flowers, wine, chocolates, and cuddles. It was beautiful.

In one sentence, how would you describe this chapter of your life?

Beautiful happiness.

I am enjoying every moment.

What does being a Stellar Mother mean to you?

Empowerment. Inspiration. Encouragement. Purpose.

If your journey could be captured in one message for the world, what would it be?

Never give up.

Never, ever give up on whatever it is that you desire. Stay focused. Stay hopeful.

“Never give up. Stay focused. Stay hopeful.”

Bio

René Byrd
René Byrd is a British singer, songwriter, and creative entrepreneur. She is the founder of René Byrd London and the host of the Who Am I Talk platform, where she creates space for honest conversations around identity, growth, and lived experience. Her work centres on storytelling and connection, and her journey into motherhood through IVF has become one of the most defining chapters of her life.