The Legacy You Carry, The Life You Choose

Because My Mother, I Am a Resilient Stellar Woman

Tamara Steele Honours the Legacy of Her Mother, Barbara Wiggins

Interview by Stella Olivia Kikoyo
Stellar Woman Mother’s Day Edition

Barbara Wiggins is the kind of woman whose life speaks before she does. Widowed at just 35, she chose not to surrender to grief, fear, or limitation. Instead, she stepped into leadership, raised three children, and continued running an automotive parts business in a male-dominated industry for over 60 years.

Her daughter, Tamara Steele – visionary founder and CEO of Evolve, a global women’s collaborative community – reflects on the remarkable woman who shaped her faith, resilience, discipline, and purpose. With a distinguished career spanning more than three decades, Tamara has worn many hats with grace and excellence as a certified executive coach, lifestyle strategist, best-selling author, transformational speaker, advocate of the law, former administrative law judge, and minister. Every role she has embraced reflects her unwavering commitment to empowering others, cultivating authentic leadership, and helping women rise into their fullest potential.

“Because of my mother, I am a resilient stellar woman.” — Tamara Steele

Tamara, before we speak about your mother, tell us a little about who you are today.

I believe the years of experience I have lived through have shaped who I am today. And honestly, it is often the things that did not work out that shaped me the most.

I do not really look at things as failures. I always ask myself, What is the lesson here? When something does not work out the way I planned, I pause and look for the insight. Once I understand the lesson, I can take a different course and keep moving forward.

I feel people do not truly fail in life. They just stop trying. My life has been enriched by setbacks because many of them were God’s way of getting my attention and redirecting me.

I do not have to always know all the answers. I just have to be open and willing to receive the guidance I need.

You are also a bodybuilder, which is such a powerful example of revealing new possibilities. What inspired that journey?

I started bodybuilding later in life, in my early 50s. I was 53 when I began, and I am now 61.

I wanted to challenge myself because I believe in taking a holistic approach to life. As a lifestyle strategist, I believe we must work on every part of ourselves — mind, body, soul, and spirit.

Bodybuilding challenged the body part of me. It required a level of discipline I had never experienced before. People often think it is all about working out, but I would say 80 to 90 percent is really about how you eat. The training matters, but your nutrition, protein, carbohydrates, water intake, and consistency are essential.

It also challenged me to be bold. Changing your body and then walking on stage takes courage. People may look at me and think I am a natural, but they have no idea what it took mentally for me to get out there.

“I started bodybuilding at 53. It was my way of challenging myself to be disciplined, bold, and fully alive.”

Today, we are honouring your mother, Barbara Wiggins. She was widowed at 35 and went on to lead an automotive parts business while raising three children. What stands out most about her story?

The biggest thing is that she did not stop to ask, Can I do this? For her, not doing it was not an option.

She could have taken many different roads. She could have gone to my grandparents for help. She could have sold the business. She could have said raising three children and running a company was too much.

But she chose to move forward.

She took on the challenge of running a business, raising three children, managing properties, and providing for her family. And she did this in an industry that was not only male-dominated, but white male-dominated.

At that time in the United States, the Civil Rights Movement was taking place. African Americans were not easily getting business loans. Resources were limited. People did not always want to rent to you or support you. But she stayed in it.

She had a resilient spirit that said, We are going to do this no matter what.

How would you describe your mother in one word?
Resilient.

That word truly captures who she is.

When you think about your mother, what is the first feeling that comes to your heart?
Loving. Caring. Present.

When I think about all the important first moments of my life, she was there. My first day of school. My first competitions. My first oral arguments in law school. When I launched my retreat. When I launched my ministry.

She showed up.

I do not have memories of her not being present for the things that mattered to me. That speaks volumes.

“I do not have memories of my mother not being present. She showed up for every important moment.”

In your eyes, what makes your mother a truly stellar woman?

A stellar woman does not shine only because of her accolades or achievements. She shines because she has endured life’s challenges while still pursuing the things that make her shine.

People see you when the curtain opens. They see you looking the part, speaking, presenting, and standing strong. But they do not always know what happened behind the curtain.

A stellar woman may have a lot going on behind the scenes, but she still shows up. She still puts her best foot forward. She still shines.

That is my mother.

When did you first realise the magnitude of her strength?
Not until I was an adult.

When someone always shows up, you almost take it for granted. You think, That is just what they do.

But as I got older, and as she got older, I began to see the full circle of life. I saw her slowing down, just as I had seen her mother slow down. And I began to appreciate even more the privilege of still having her here.

I often say my moments become my memories. So now, I try to be fully present with her. It is a privilege to be in the presence of your loved ones.

What did you witness growing up that you now recognise as extraordinary?
Her strength.

One memory that stands out is the day after my father passed away. We had to go to the business, and I remember wondering, Why are we going here?

My mother said, Because I have to do payroll.

She had already made up her mind that life was going to go on and that she was going to provide for her family.

She later told me, I knew I needed this business to provide my family with the lifestyle I wanted them to have. I could not do that from a nine-to-five.

That foresight was extraordinary. Because of her decision, we were able to attend good schools, take part in extracurricular activities, travel, and have opportunities that may not have been possible otherwise.

How did her resilience shape your mindset as the woman you are today?

It empowered me to believe I can do almost anything.

Even when something is challenging, I know I can stay in it, work through it, find another way, and keep going.

I remember being in law school and feeling overwhelmed. I knew people who dropped out because it felt too hard. I was just as confused as they were, but I decided to keep going.

I did not know then that I would go on to have a successful law career and later sit on the bench as a judge. If someone had told me that while I was struggling, I might not have believed them.

But now I see that God was preparing me. Every experience was building me for the next level.

“Never give up, because you never know how God is using where you are now to prepare you for what is next.”

Your mother deeply valued education, discipline, and self-sufficiency. How did those values show up in your upbringing?

She gave us structure.

We had playtime, study time, extracurricular activities, and responsibilities. As a single mother with three children, she had to create structure because without it, things could have become chaotic.

That structure helped shape us. It taught us discipline, responsibility, and consistency.

What principle from your mother still guides your decisions today?

Discipline.

Discipline means not being led by your emotions. Emotions can derail you if you allow them to dictate how you show up.

And consistency goes hand in hand with discipline. Discipline helps you do what needs to be done, and consistency helps you keep doing it even when you do not feel like it.

Many people are consistently inconsistent because they allow their feelings to lead them. My mother taught me, through her life, to keep moving forward regardless of how I feel.

How did your mother’s faith influence your relationship with purpose and leadership?

Her faith was anchored in God being the head of her life.

That shaped my understanding of purpose. I do not see my purpose as just a career or a venture I want to pursue. I see it as divine. God gives me my purpose.

Because I was raised by a mother and grandmother who put God first, I learned to desire a real relationship with God. Not just to believe, but to hear from God.

I call it divine clarity. When you know who you are and whose you are, you lead differently. You understand what you are called to give to others.

You now lead and empower women globally through Evolve. In what ways do you see your mother’s influence in your leadership?

My mother exposed me to a world bigger than my immediate environment.

She supported me when I studied abroad in Paris. That experience opened my eyes to different cultures and perspectives. Later, I travelled to Nigeria, Togo, and Benin through a friend I met during that time.

Those experiences shaped the way I see the world. They helped me develop a global perspective, which is now part of how I lead women through Evolve.

My mother supported those opportunities, and because of that, I learned to see beyond my small community.

How has her example shaped the way you show up for other women?

Most people close to me would say I am one of the most consistent and reliable people in their lives.

That comes from my mother. She showed up for me, and now I show up for others.

What is something your mother did for you that you did not fully appreciate until later in life?

Her patience.

Especially during my teenage years and difficult seasons, I did not always realise how stressful my behaviour may have been for her. I was wrapped up in my own feelings and growing pains.

Looking back, I see her maturity, patience, and grace. That speaks volumes.

How has your relationship with your mother evolved over time?

It has absolutely evolved.

When you are younger, your mother is your mother. You may not tell her everything. But as I got older, she became my sounding board, my best friend, and my confidante.

I can run things by her. I can ask what she thinks. I can be transparent and vulnerable with her.

That is a gift.

Your mother built a business that has lasted over 60 years. What does legacy mean to you because of her example?

Legacy means carrying forward what matters.

For me, it is the legacy of faith, resilience, making a difference, and leaving an imprint. It is not only about tangible achievements; it is also about the intangible qualities that are passed from one generation to the next.

I see it in my nephews, my niece, and the younger generation in our family. One of my nephews has finished law school, his twin brother is finishing medical school, my niece is a practising attorney, and her daughter wants to become a doctor.

But more than the careers, I see the resilience, the drive, and the belief that they can do anything they put their minds to.

What has been the greatest gift of being her daughter?

The greatest gift is having her as my best friend.

She loves me unconditionally. I can be transparent with her. I do not have to give her an edited version of myself. I can simply be me.

Not everyone has that kind of relationship with their mother. So, I see it as a true gift.

What is one lesson from your mother that has carried you through your most challenging seasons?

Never give up.

If you could thank her publicly for one thing, what would it be?
I would thank her for loving me unconditionally and allowing me to be myself.

Many parents want their children to follow a certain path, even if they do not mean any harm. But my mother allowed me to be me.

That kind of acceptance is powerful, especially when you are young and still discovering who you are.

What does Mother’s Day mean to you when you reflect on your mother’s journey?

Mother’s Day is an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate her publicly.

But it is also a reminder that every day should be an acknowledgement and celebration of the women who have poured into us.

How would you describe your mother’s impact, not just on your life, but on everyone who knows Barbara?

People know her as a caring soul. She is always there to help, support, and give.

Sometimes it is not even about words. It is her presence. People feel supported when she is there.

Recently, my cousin had emergency surgery, and I went to see her at the hospital. When I told my mother, she said, I am going with you. My cousin was deeply touched simply by my mother’s presence.

That is who she is.

What do you believe the world can learn from women like your mother?

That there are no limits, only the self-imposed limits we place on ourselves.

Women like my mother show us that we are resilient. They remind us that we can keep going, keep building, and keep shining.

Complete this sentence: Because my mother, I am…

Because my mother, I am a resilient stellar woman.

Finally, what is a stellar woman?
A stellar woman is resilient.

Tamara’s Mother’s Day Message

Happy Mother’s Day to all the stellar women out there. You have exactly what you need in life to soar.

Connect with Tamara Steele

Tamara can be found through her coaching, retreats, and ministry platforms:

Website: tamarasteele.com
Ministry: tamarasteele.org
Email: tamara@tamarasteele.com

Editor’s Closing Reflection

Barbara Wiggins’ story is a powerful reminder that resilience is not always loud. Sometimes it looks like doing payroll the day after losing your husband. Sometimes it looks like raising three children while leading a business in an industry that was never designed for you. Sometimes it looks like showing up, again and again, until your presence becomes a legacy.

Through her mother’s life, Tamara Steele learned faith, discipline, consistency, courage, and unconditional love.

And because of Barbara, she stands today as a resilient stellar woman.